Last night's rehearsal was a break through in many ways. As the director, I was feeling stumped. I was feeling like I needed to have all the answers. I had ideas, inklings - but nothing definitive. I was anxious that I wouldn't seem to be a strong leader.
But that's the beauty of our Ensemble model. Its not about one person leading the charge. Its not about a group looking to one person for the answers. That's a model that works well for other companies, but that's not SATE. It's a type of selfishness or self-importance to think that just because I am directing a piece that I need to dictate the piece. I like to think of my role like one in a canoe. I am allowing the river to take me where she flows, and every now and then, I use my paddles to keep from bumping into rocks. The river that is our Ensemble is powerful and beautiful and strong.
We have tools for making our way out of the rocks in the stream. They are our Viewpoints. Even a short exploration of Open Viewpoints made the way clear in section of the script I had been struggling with. Every time I fall into doubt, I should remember I have the gift of our physical work. It always brings clarity.